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2015-01-19 I was near to tears for her interpreting her life approvingly. [長年日記]

Though I didn't know the background, this morning I stepped down to the living room, I found that my senior daughter and wife looked face to face with becoming red eyes.

The daughter seemed to be exhausted and, not be able to move even one her finger.

From the end of last year, she has repeated paroxysm of coughing and breathing difficulty, and has gone to hospital again and again.

But I was sure that

"This is no way"

I sent the message that I had to cancel the regular meeting (I am going to be a toast master), and I got my arms around and went to a specialty clinic.

Needless to say, and any guardians could agree to the following, they feel more painful to watch what their children suffer from diseases, than what they suffer.

-----

A few days ago, she sprained, and tumbled down from a step for the reason, she had to use crutch in her daily life. So I carried her to clinic by car.

In front of the clinic, I have to wait the time to open the room, I kept lining on, leaving my daughter in the car.

In the winter morning air, I tried to forget the cold with talking with a lady, (81 years old).

I heard her stories, for example,

- She has suffered asthma for long her life.

- Many people cannot understand her suffering quite.

However , she said to me,

"But I believe that my life has been not so bad"

I was near to tears for her interpreting her life approvingly.

-----

Lady:"But you cannot save her for her whole life"

Ebata:"You are right. What do you think what I should do?"

Lady:"I hope that your daughter is going to meet a good marriage partners, who can save her, eternally"

Ebata:"Now, I can agree with you"

-----

There was something heavy in her phrase, and I could not discard her words, even if it is "an old concept".