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2018-04-22 "Personal collapse presumably according to alcohol sumption" [長年日記]

Recently, there are certain reasons, I am completely stopping alcohol consumption now. I do not even mention 1 milliliter.

However, in April there are many drinking party and I am embarrassed to be honest.

At the drinking party 's seat,

Colleague: "Mr. Ebata, the doctor stooped it?"

Every time I responded

Ebata: "Ha-ha, do you think that even a doctor can stop me?"

with smiling, nobody comes to touch this topic to be recognized something.

Set it aside.

-----

When I do not drink, I can see something various.

"Personal collapse presumably according to alcohol sumption"

To me, it is clearly visible, honestly, it's really "scary."

Because I will "observe" a lot about people at the next seats, who is changing to a different personality (or hidden personality) from the start time of the drinking party.

I have not able to be feel "fear" since now. I think the reason is that I also change the my personality with drinking, and start to live in the another world.

The feeling is, ... let me think... " Okabe's Reading Steiner"

-----

My wife is a so-called "Geko" who has no alcohol decomposing ability by nature.

So I asked her

"Have you ever lived such a scary life until now?"

However she responded, "I never thought of scary, in particular"

I felt a deep emotion that there was an "observer of loneliness" close to me.