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2020-12-10 I'm the kind of person who doesn't look back at the past, especially other people's past. [長年日記]

My evaluation of a person is "The person who can make things is the best"

The guy who draws a "conceptual picture" of something and feels working, is

maybe she/he might is really the "best" guy,

They cannot impress me.

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The person who draws the "concept picture" may have been someone I used to respect.

"It doesn't matter"

I think that.

My evaluation is always from my ongoing perspective.

I'm the kind of person who doesn't look back at the past, especially other people's past.

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But I guess it doesn't really matter to most people in the world how I'm regarded.

It is actually "me" who is in trouble.

I can't help but feel uncomfortable about orders from "people I can't respect".

Not only that, but when we hear trivial self-beliefs or good arguments that don't fit the situation, my zero motivation turns into a negative one.

Even if the "order" is legitimate, reasonable, and decent.

This is the essence of "narrow-mindedness" among my three major attributes of my three main attributes: shallow, narrow-mindness, and cowardly.

This attribute, by the way, is not "self-deprecation". It is a result of self-analysis based on an engineering approach.

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Narrow-mindedness is a disease.

If I want to treat this disease, I may be able to treat it.

However, I, the person in question, have no intention of treeating it.

Because "narrow-mindedness" is my personality.

It was this "narrow-mindedness" that allowed me to continue writing my column for more than eight years.

(If you reread my column from this perspective, I think the content will come easily to you.)

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My "narrow-mindedness" is both a weakness and a strength of mine.

I think I can choose to either continue to be "narrow-mindedness" or to stop being "narrow-mindedness".

But if I think about which one has advantages and which one is easier... No, I don't have to think about it.

My choice is clear.