I had "ten years of crazy studying".

In fact, I almost went crazy and fell onto the train rails -- I wrote about it here.

It is much harder to "throw away" a dream than to "have" one.

However, if we do not recognize this and courageously implement "discarding", we may lose our lives.

Therefore, when I listen to young musicians on singing programs and hear their simple lyrics such as "It's wonderful to have a dream" or "Don't give up on your dream," I am seriously worried about brainwashing the youth of their generation.

In addition,

"I'm seriously worried about their future as musicians who will eventually stop selling (and are destined to)"

For more information on this, please see my calculation of "1 in 10,000 entertainers who remain active in the entertainment industry for more than 5 years" here.

But that's beside the point.

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During the "ten years of crazy studying", I know there are many adults who are studying after their working.

For the ten years, I would order a cup of coffee at a fast food restaurant and concentrate on my studies for two to three hours. And no matter what kind of restaurant I entered, there would always be one or two people like me there.

However, in my case, I did not go to "Starbucks" and "Mac"

The coffee at Starbucks is too expensive and the seats are badly mixed.

The coffee in "Mac" is bad and the air conditioning is terrible (cold or hot).

In my case, I used to use the "Mossberg" or "KFC" that stood poking around near the local train station with few people coming and going on the way to work.

Of course, I didn't order a hamburger, but just a cup of coffee.

After 9:00 p.m., there were no more customers, so there was less psychological resistance.

I don't remember any shopkeepers bothering me -- well, maybe there just weren't any shopkeepers who could talk to me when I was giving off a dark aura.

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Anyway, as a result, I lost 10 years of my life.

I still feel frustrated when I think that those 10 years were a complete waste.

I think I could have used my time better, and -- objectively speaking -- I think I've missed a lot of opportunities.

The time I'm spending writing this diary may be wasted in the same way.

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But the regret that I may see in the future is a regret that I cannot see in the present.

I don't want to regret anything, but I know I will continue to regret something.

I think that at the end of my life, I will sum up this "life of mine that has been a constant wandering" as "a life that has been a constant wandering".