It is often heard that "the presence of rivals makes you better."
However, I don't recall ever having the feeling of 'competing with someone else.
Or maybe I am already losing and don't even know it.
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I make an effort not because I compete with others but because I don't want to be embarrassed in front of the world -- that is, in front of many people.
When I was in elementary school, I used to get up early in the morning and practice jumping over a nearby river bridge with a rubber strap. The reason was that
I was made to compete in a tremendous competition, jumping over hurdles as high as 100 centimeters.
I spent most of my summer vacation practicing the "backstroke." The reason was that
I was made to swim 50 meters in the backstroke, which I can't swim."
I've been working hard, not to 'compete with someone else,' but because I don't like to be laughed at by others."
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Clearly, this is "bullying" in the name of a school event.
It was this "bullying" that completed me as a "child who hates athletic events."
I think the teachers were also complicit in this bullying -- no matter how many times I repeated that I couldn't do it, they ignored me.
They used to say with ease, 'If you practice, you will be able to do it.'
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We all have strengths and weaknesses.
Even if I had been asked to submit ten free research projects for the summer vacation, I would have done it lightly as an elementary school student.
But would an average child turn blue if someone said something like this? -- I don't know.
I wondered why the world could not understand that "submitting ten free research projects during the summer vacation" and "swimming 50 meters in the backstroke" was equivalent -- a child who continued to resent the world, athletic meets, and swimming competitions.
That's what I am.
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And to my daughter who wants to take time off from "field day" and "marathon, I said,
'No problem. If you don't like it, take the day off.'
I was a parent who notified my daughter's school that my daughter was sick.