親の介護フェーズが終わった(死亡した)時から、自分が、被介護対象者になっていく ―― を実感しています。
I realize that from the time my parent's caregiving phase ends (death), I will be the one to be cared for.
夫婦共に、力が著しく低下する、原因不明の発疹が出てくる、不眠が酷くなる(これは以前からだが)、体(指や腕)が思うように動かなくなる、などの自覚症状が、顕著に表われるようになっています。
Both our couples are experiencing noticeable subjective symptoms, such as a significant loss of strength, unexplained rashes, worse insomnia (which has been present for some time), and the inability to move their bodies (fingers and arms) as much as they would like.
Of course, we all have times in our 30s, 40s, and 50s when we realize that we are losing our functionality, decade by decade, but I can tell you that this became more pronounced after the end of my parent's care.
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この理由には、心理的要因も大きいかもしれない、と考えています。
I believe that psychological factors may be a significant factor in this reason.
「長期間、親の介護を行ってきた/見てきた」という人は、「人間が少しずつ死んでいくプロセスに関わってきた/観測してきた」ということです。
If you have cared for/observed your parents for an extended period, you have been involved in/observed the process of gradual death of a human being.
健康状態は改善することなく、悪化の方向にのみ決定している一択のプロセス ―― これは、結構な地獄です。
A one-choice process in which health is determined only in the direction of deterioration, not improvement, is pretty much hell.
このようなプロセスを経験して形成される人格は、ニヒリズム(虚無主義)です。
The personality that is formed through this process is nihilism.
『人生における、努力も、苦労も、栄光も ―― その最期にあるのは、それらと等価交換にもならない、長く辛い死へのプロセスだけである』は ―― 別段に仏教を学ばなくても、毎日が「諸行無常」の実体験です。
The only thing at the end of life is the long and painful process of death, which is not even equivalent to the effort, hardship, and glory of life" -- even if you don't study Buddhism separately, every day is an authentic experience of "all things are impermanent.
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50年程前、「戦争を知らない子どもたち」とか「遠い世界に」という歌が流行りました。
About 50 years ago, the songs "Children Who Don't Know War" and "To a world far away" became popular.
文化祭で、一部の教師の要望(圧力)に屈する形で、歌わされた記憶があります。
I remember that we were made to sing at a cultural festival at some teachers' request (pressure).
正直、私は、これらの歌に1mmも感情移入できませんでした ―― 何言っているのか分からんかったので。
I couldn't get a mm of emotion into these songs -- because I didn't know what they were saying.
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これからは、「介護を知らない/知っている大人たち」という概念が生まれてくると思っています。
I believe that the concept of "adults who don't know/know about caregiving" will be created in the future.
事故や病気で、親の突然の死に立ちあってしまった人は、不幸です。
It is unfortunate for those who have witnessed the sudden death of a parent due to an accident or illness.
But it is also unfortunate for those who continue to watch the process of continuous parental death that lasts more than ten years (life span - healthy life span = 7 years for men and 12 years for women).
どちらも不幸ではあるのですが、その不幸の『内容』が違う、その気持ちを共有できない ―― そういう時代の到来は、すでにやってきていると思います。
Both are unhappy, but the "content" of their unhappiness is different, and they cannot share their feelings -- I believe that such an era has already arrived.